Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human nature as it provides the ability to reproduce which is necessary to continue our species. It also feels fucking amazing (get it? nudges shoulder). So, obviously, sexual content and sexuality are brought up a lot on the podcast.

Approaching Sexuality

There are multiple ways to approach sexuality:

1. It's evil! Demons kill you inside when you have sex outside of marriage without the purpose of procreating!
With this method of approaching sexuality, you view sexuality as inherently bad because of ideological reasons. This is a view commonly subscribed to by fundamentalist religious people and sex-negative feminists (these people are frequent topics of discussion on the podcast). It's pretty stupid and simply just causes harm, as particularly religious people tend to advocate abstinence because of this view. It doesn't work. [1]
2. Stay safe and have fun.
With this method of approaching sexuality, you're a lot less likely to get STDs and bad shit like that because you actually know how to use protection. An example of people with this opinion is Sex Masterka. It honestly seems to be common sense, but, you know, there's a lot of ignorance out there.


Sexuality can be expressed through variously different ways and acts as a component of an individual's personal identity, so it's only appropriate to set arbitrary standards for what sexual activities are permissible.

  • Heterosexuality: The best sexuality out there and the only one that should be tolerated in a truly sane world. Heterosexuals are gifted with magical baby-making powers, along with the comfort of not encountering social discrimination in most parts of the world.
  • Homosexuality: Very wicked and a precursor to pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, coprophilia, BDSM, transvestism, atheism, communism, airline incompetence, and loud noises that wake you up at 4 AM. Homosexuals congregate at local bathhouses and public changing rooms. Because homosexuals are incapable of procreation (IVF, what's that? pfff), they reproduce by converting children to their lifestyle, forcing them to obtain pleasure from penises, show tunes, and interior decorating.
  • Bisexuality: Totally non-existent.
  • Bananasexuality: They like their sex just like they do their No. 2 pencils; long, solid and yellow.
  • Asexuality: People who have a small no dick/small tits.

Tumblr sexualities

  • Pansexuality: Sadly it has nothing to do with Pan, but luckily has everything to do with Pan!
  • Polysexuality: No comment.
  • Zoosexuality: This is literally a thing.
  • Sapiosexuality: People who are attracted to other people's intelligence. What the hell, Tumblr?
  • Skeletonsexuality: People who are attracted to the skeletons from Undertale.


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