Scotty Kirk is TJ Kirk's younger brother, although earlier in the show he was somewhere between a host and a guest due to not appearing consistently he now participates in most shows. He is known for harboring a bitter hatred of Canada and for being a vegan. Anthony Fantano has gone on record and definitively stated that Scotty is the best peasant for sticking up for himself against TJ's abuse.

While TJ's sexual scandals are well known even beyond the Peasants and their fandom, TJ once caught Scotty in the act of masturbating to the 1997 film Star ship Troopers, specifically during a scene in which space marines are fighting the insect hordes, though Scotty initially denied it and claimed to be masturbating to something in his head he has since admitted to the truth that he has a fetish for space marine's fighting bugs. He claims that the lava bug that sprays flesh melting plasma is his favorite.

Scotty has an alter ego, the Egg Bitch; as the Egg Bitch he dresses up in a tutu and prances around the land walking up to people and offering them eggs.

God Emperor of C'une (Canadia)

For a period Scoopy usurped the Cunadian empire from the Cuckistani in chief, Ben Shapiro. Scoopy instilled a mandatory euthanasia program as to attempt to curb the Canuck genetic infection of the human race. Scoopy took the path his father feared, he mated with a Canuck in order to gain the trust and insight into the nation of Canadia. With Scotty infecting himself with Canadian Poon, his aryan genes reacted to the Canadian womb, becoming one with the maggots. Scoopy discovered that with this unholy union cased a genetic riff. After 50 years, Scotty went through a metamorphosis, becoming the God Emperor of C'une.


Scotty, The God Emperor

After 3,500 years of rule, Scotty realized that all was for naught, Scotty realized that all would be for naught as after eliminating the Canadian population, he was the only Canuck left. Regretting the irony of the situation he attempted suicide. As the God Emperor, he discovered that he was immortal. Naturally, he attempted to utilize the vast resources of his empire to genetically manipulate the Canadian out of his genome. Such technology would not be available for another 10,000 years. Not wanting to wait such a long time, Scotty decided to invent time travel to cuck his past self and avoid such a terrible fate, creating a new timeline.

Some say the God emperor retreated into the planets core, incinerating by the core's heat. Alt. timeline Scotty, his plan understandably foiled, contemplated suicide. Thankfully this attempt was thwarted by the one emotion that could trump his hate for Canada, no no, not his hate for TJ but his love for who would be his future wife, Taylor.


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