Randal Howard "RandPaul (born January 7, 1963) is a self-important Kentucky Senator who prides himself on not being like most of his fellow mental invalids. He identifies as a Conservative but is pretty much a quasi-libertarian who will do a smart thing every once and awhile. He is the offspring of former Congressman Ron Paul, the Republican's Bernie Sanders.

He ran for U.S. president in 2016. He tried to talk about non-interventionism and making pan legal, but got cyberbullied by Trump, and dropped out. He is also against the Patriot Act and NSA surveillance on American citizens, and always demands a warrant before accepting sexual favors.

He doesn't care much for abortion, as he is a strong advocate for a fetus' right to stand their ground. When gay marriage became a thing, he just went with it, assuming the honor of having done something to help achieve it.


  • It is a common misconception that he is named after Ayn Rand, famous Libertarian writer/philosopher. He has no excuse for being named Randal.
  • He is the Junior Senator to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, demonstrating that Kentucky is a prank.
  • He has Ramen Noodle hair.
  • He is 5'7 inches, but will roast you for being average height.
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