File:JF vs. G Man Rap

Full Lyrics

G Man, Commander of the Masters of Stupidity

Unauthorized representative of the Brett Keane posse

Everything you say follows the laws of thermodynamics

Increasing disorder into the brains of those who believe in magic

You may actually be the first failed YouTube pastor

Your poorly worded rhymes dishonor all of your ancestors

We lived on this planet long before you were even born

Including the single cell that gave birth to you and the corn.

Your threshold for proof goes back and forth too frequently

Like Mercedes Carrera's boobs in her last movie

Your circular theoretical framework is an impasse

'Cause when you hide from the truth, it comes back right up your ass

Suddenly expands, bullshit spurts out like shoelaces

An explosion from which remain no traces

Except your ass is now split in two pieces that hang

Like motherfuckin' space/time right after the Big Bang.

I could download your entire YouTube legacy

Encode it into a self-replicating machine sent to posterity

And as this Von Neumann probe reaches intergalactical space

All the lifeforms in the universe would see your face

An even newer testament for my technological empire

Except for you this time there won't be no savior

Boltzmann brains would pop into existence just to laugh at your shit

And all across the universe, you'd be known as the greatest fuckwit.

The only way you'll ever contribute to scientific knowledge

Is if you let me cut you in thin slices after you're dead

Or I may detain you in a room with just enough food to subsist

Until you acknowledge that at least one starving African child does exist

Or I might lay you flat in a brain scanner

And ask you about this very day, and try to remember

Then your brainwaves may finally allow scientists to elude

How it feels to get owned in your own language by a French white dude.

Just turned you into French cuisine, but expect no reduction of heat. Uh.

I will always be as relentless as I was on this sick, mid-90s beat. Yeah.

The only way to seek cover from my wrathful rhapsody? Hahahahaha!

Would be for you to get adopted as part of Brett Keane's family.

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