Hell, also referred to as The Land of Pan and Honey, is Satan's crib where he smokes pan and fucks women with large asses. Smoking pan every day is mandatory in this realm, so it's overall a pretty chill place. Christians have tried for thousands of years to prevent people from coming here so that they are damned into an eternal servitude of the Judeo-Christian God in Heaven.


Using his massive influence, Brett Keane has convinced humanity that Hell is a location of eternal torment which is quite simply not the case. The Drunken Peasants also happen to be proud residents of Hell. Some speculate that the entire DP universe actually takes place in purgatory and that the peasants are in a coma.

Every Friday in order to summon Paul's Ego, TJ has a regular appointment sucking Satan's cock right before the show. Hell is a land of free will, unlike Heaven where everyone is a slave to God and have to kiss his ass every minute and bombard him with praise and worship.

Notable Residents

Going to hell

Things that can send you to hell (All could be forgiven if you accept Christ)

  • Profanity
  • Wearing mixed fabric
  • Hypocrisy
  • Witchcraft
  • Murder (unless, of course, you do it in the name of god)
  • Adultery
  • Deceit
  • "Evil" Thoughts
  • Pride
  • Greed
  • Lust
  • Hatred
  • Fornicating
  • Heresy
  • Bestiality
  • Being Gay
  • Eating cheese with meat
  • Smoking Pan
  • Doing dem' drugs!
  • Extortion
  • Foolishness. Yes, god can seriously send you to hell for all eternity just for being a "fool"

People who will go to hell


  • Creationist Cat sometimes distributes free "Get out of Hell" cards, just in case you don't want to go to this marvelous place.[1]
  • Pan is readily available throughout Hell and completely free of charge.


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