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- Bieber turns himself in.
- The supposed blueprints to Noah's Ark.
- Children not allowed to eat lunch.
- Atlanta Freaks out over 2 inches of snow (not found)
- JB Turns Himself In
- Meatloaf Defends JB
- Meatloaf and Megan Kelly (not found)
- Blueprints For Noah's Ark Found
- Kids Get Their Lunches Taken Away
The peasants covered a story about how pussies in Atlanta are scared of two inches of snow. They discussed JB's turning himself to the Illuminati and Meatloaf defending him. Then, some scientist started debunking Noah's Ark.
- "Pulls ze string, PULLS ZE STRING" -TJ
- "I don't wanna talk to Geo-Physicists; mothafuckas are too sexy to resist" -TJ
- "The feelings and opinions expressed by TJ are not necessarily the feelings of everyone else here at Drunken Peasants" -Ben
- "Blame yo self" -TJ
- Since those Atlanta bitches panicked because of 2 inches of snow, If any black people from that city mocks TJ's micro-penis, just remember, they're the ones who got derailed by something 2 inches and white.
- Most Republicans have punchable faces.
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