Episode 85 is an episode of the Drunken Peasants. It was the first episode to feature Mercedes Carrera as a guest.

Prev: Episode 84

Next: Episode 86


Videos Played

News Segment

Stupid Ad Segment

  1. Shimmer Jewelry Tattoos
  2. Pizza Shuttle: You have the right to.....
  3. Brazil Butt Lift: Take the pencil test
  4. Big John Toilet Toy
  5. Ba'Noodle: The bag clip
  6. The Face Blanket
  7. The USB Pet Rock
  8. CanChew Gum

Start of The Show

The Drunken Peasants began the show by informing the audience that Ben is deathly ill so he won't be on camera. Then, Scotty got Ben and TJ mixed up. After that, Mercedes Carrera introduced herself. She explained her background and also GamerGate, to the hosts and audience.

Once that discussion was completed, they moved on to a Wild Bill video, which allowed TJ to see the light. The video played also demonstrated that Wild Bill apparently believes that, to be an atheist, one must absolutely believe that aliens exist.

Next, the Drunken Peasants played a video by Ryan Wiley responding to a video by TJ on the feminist #LikeAGirl Campaign. TJ refuted the Wage Gap once more, and they moved on.

After that, they played a video about a list of reasons why to date liberal men. The hosts and Mercedes laughed at it due to it's absurdity and in confusion. Then, they moved onto an Onision video where he told women what to think and said female anti-feminists want women in burkas.

After that, they moved onto a video where Tim Black blamed TJ partly for the Chapel Hill Shootings, in which a man named Craig Hicks killed a couple muslims, which was blamed on Islamophobia by some even though Craig Hicks didn't really seem to have a prejudice against Muslims. He condoned the Ground Zero Mosque - something one with a fear of Muslims would most likely not do.

Middle of The Show

The peasants then moved on to a clip where Adam Kokesh got his mic cut while on Fox News. It was probably because Adam was about to reveal the Illuminati's secrets. No, it was actually because Adam said some shit that Dr. Drew Pinsky didn't like so he decided to be a cunt and proceeded to cut Adam's mic.

They then watched a news story about some guy from Oklahoma called Sir John Michael who got busted for Marijuana possession. Then, they watched a Fox News story about a student at a school who supposedly got in trouble for saying "God Bless America." Next, they watched a news story about a scumbag principal berating students with special needs. Then, a Republican lawmaker wants to make the Bible the official state book of Tennessee.

They watched a report from CNN about an anti-vaccination doctor, Jack Wolfson being investigated by authorities. They watched a news story about how a little boy got in trouble with the law for stealing a pack of gum. Next, they watched a News Report from 1991 about some parents who got upset over the Super Nintendo Console. Then, Mercedes left the show.

End of The Show

Immediately after Mercedes had left, the Drunken Peasants moved into the Stupid Ad Segment and watched some stupid ads.


  • "I have the magical female minority pussy card." - Mercedes Carrera
  • "I'm just tired of women who are a bunch of pathetic, whiner, narcissists speaking out on behalf of all women everywhere and thinking that's acceptable." - Mercedes Carrera's take on the anti-GamerGate crowd.
  • "Porn is a very female-friendly field." - Part of Mercedes' discussion about whether the porn industry is misogynistic
  • "You've reached the lowest of the low brow here at the Drunken Peasants Podcast." - TJ Kirk
  • "I would show [my] tits but that'd probably get you kicked off YouTube." - Another reason why YouTube is garbage. Well, at least you can still do research outside of it.
  • "There won't be any squirrels in this video, but there's usually dolphins out there." - Wild Bill
  • "This guy's so full of shit" -Ben talking about Wild Bill
  • "In all the possible ways the world could end, Klingon Invasion is probably the best." - TJ
  • "Well, they're a warrior culture, so they need to fight and fuck at the same time." - TJ on black people (just kidding, Klingons again).
  • "I'm marching to Hell now guys, bye!" - Scotty
  • "No, no, Satan lifted the veil from my eyes. And now I realize he is my dark lord and master." - TJ
  • "We're now the Meninist Podcast." - TJ
  • "That's why all the wisest men in history had to go live in a cave for a while." - TJ
  • "8 reasons I will never like cole slaw!" - TJ
  • "Was anyone offended by that statement? Oh my god, I think someone was offended." - Scotty
  • "Onision's a fucking hobbit, dude." - Scotty
  • "Pigs are floating and Ryan Wiley got laid!" - Scotty
  • "I'm a patriot! People fly planes into buildings and I'm glad someone can stop them!" - TJ
  • "Murica! For freedom! Censor his mic." - Mercedes Carrera


  • TJ really can't be bothered to learn about GamerGate.
  • Ryan Wiley claims to be a progressive individual, but ridiculed someone on the basis that they have sex as a profession. Nice. However, he did apologize later.
  • Mercedes Carrera desires to have a wall of dick pics.
  • TJ participated in amateur porn.
  • TJ's favorite form of government is a Banana Republic, according to Scotty.
  • TJ and Mercedes are soul sisters (as they have both participated in pornographic scenes involving bananas).
  • Atheists are mentally-handicapped monkeys, according to Wild Bill (he said it indirectly though).
  • If Wild Bill were an atheist, he'd need to memorize and recite the sentences "I'm an atheist. There's no evidence for God." for 12 hours a day to be able to somewhat express the ideas.
  • Wild Bill used to be Walker Texas Ranger, according to Scotty.
  • Two of the most important archaeological discoveries were the Jesus Fossil, in which the archaeologists whom discovered knew it was Jesus from it being in a T-Shape, and the Jesus Fish.
  • Mercedes Carrera would probably do Klingon porn.
  • TJ will be leading the march in Hell.
  • If you worship Satan in life, you get to stay in the nicer part of Hell. You get to be in the VIP section and can get a picture with the dark lord and master himself.
  • Satan founded the CIA in the 1920s, according to TJ.
  • Wild Bill believes that, to be an atheist, one must absolutely believe that aliens exist.
  • Paying for porn = credit card debt = selling your soul to Satan.
  • Mercedes Carrera challenged Onision to a boxing match.
  • Drew Pinsky is a fucking asshole
  • The Drunken Peasants jumped the shark when they declared that vaccines are safe and help people.


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