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Episode 144 is an episode of the Drunken Peasants.

Prev: Episode 143

Next: Episode 145

Highlights

Videos Played

  1. Troll or Not a Troll Segment: Woman Speaking some sort of gibberish (can't find)
  2. News Segment: "Deez Nuts" for president
  3. Joe Jinky: Emmanuel AME Church Shooting HOAX
  4. Roosh V: How To Approach Girls At Bars
  5. Evan Lafavor: Rowdy Roddy Piper Illuminati Evanism Connection - Army of Heaven - They Live - Aliens
  6. CNN: France honors 3 Americans, Briton for stopping train attack
  7. CNN: Ohio considers Down syndrome abortion ban
  8. CNN: Trump, Bush not apologizing for 'anchor babies'
  9. CNN: Ivanka Trump and Chelsea Clinton's friendship
  10. News Segment: Weird Satanist Guy
  11. News Segment: ISIS REKTS Artifacts (can't find)
  12. Brett Keane: Why I'm NOT Christian
  13. Gail Chord Schuler: "The Shimmering Sea: Robin Williams Murder" Audio Book Sample

Start of the Show

The episode began with Scotty being renamed to Snotty. TJ named off his top ten personal favorite WWE wrestlers. He professes his love for the Overtaker and Double H; his real favorite wrestler is obviously Mid 90s Kevin Nash. They then brought the white redneck ass, Cult of Busty onto the show. Dusty then whined like a bitch about The Ambiguously Gay Duo dropping their T-Shirt deal. TJ and Ben continued to fellate Busty Smith until they made fun of his mid-life crisis. Busty then tried to assert that Mississippi isn't that bad. Busty then says that "liberal group think" is the reason why liberals aren't as harsh on Muslims. Busty once again shows himself to be a freedom hater by vaguely stating that "religion needs to be eradicated". How we get there or do that Cultbust refuses to answer.  

The Drunken Peasants reviewed an article about a fraternity that draped a banner asking women to have sex with them. Busty criticized their cheap usage of sheets instead of actually using something valuable. After shilling their shit, they jumped into the Troll or Not a Troll segment. This segment features a woman in an American flag tank top garbling nonsensical gibberish. They watched a news report about Deez Nuts as a North Carolina presidential candidate.  

Next on the fucking block is a video by the pink monster from Episode 143, Joe Jinky. This retarded windbag claims that the Baptist Church shooting in South Carolina by racist Dylann Roof is a hoax. Bust of Culty then shows how stupid he truly is by telling the world he used to be a fan of Alex Jones. The pink monster then said that black people would all pay super close attention to Dylann because white teenagers are the bane of the black community.  

Then, Roosh V teaches men how to pick up women at bars by playing with dolls. Roosh continues to view women as goals to be achieved with his creepy beard and multiple STDs. Voosh R suggests that you wander aimlessly around the bar before approaching her in the easiest case. He tells people to push other women out of the way and follow Roosh's How To Fuck Women Who Totally Aren't Human Strategy Guide. Before picking up the girl, Roosh hides in the shadows behind a wall like a Pick-Up Artist Batman while staying wary of the evil cockblockers. This might have been one of the creepiest videos ever to be featured on the DP.  

Middle of the Show

Afterwards, Cult of Dusty while on his Potato Cam, says he will beat anybody at a dance-off. The peasants then played Up in Da Club while Dusty Smith dances with Snotty and TJ. WE FUCKIN' STUPID. BEAT YOU TO DEATH. WITH A CLUB. Cult of Dusty continues to defend his drug abuse by saying that he never had any bad experiences with drugs. Next, they watched a video providing proof for Rowdy Roddy Piper! As brought to you by Evan Lefavor showing us the truth that Piper was part of the Good Illuminati and the Army of God. It turns out that the Kingdom of Heaven is a set of futuristic spaceships. Apparently, Evan Lefavor is the King of Heaven, which means we all need to call for a Purple Wedding real soon.

They then move onto the Q&A Segment where Dusty Smith answers questions from DP fans. Next, they watched a CNN news story about how a few Americans intervened to foil a terrorist attack on a train in France. They then covered a news report about how Ohio is considering on outlawing down syndrome abortions. They watched more CNN, this time about how Donald Trump and some other Republicans received backlash for using the term "anchor-baby". Then, they watched a boring CNN news story about how Chelsea Clinton and Ivanka Trump are friends while their parents, Hillary and Trump are rivals in the presidential campaign. The peasants then covered a news story about a Satanic Baphomet statue followed by an outrageously hilarious appearance of Onyx, The Fortuitous, who is an overzealous follower of Baphomet and his Senpai, Satan.

End of the Show

The peasants watched a news story about some ISIS assholes destroying artifacts from pre-Islamic civilization. Next, Butt King talks about why he's not a Christian but a theist. His video was originally aimed at G Man who tried to prove Brett was really a Christian. The peasants then tried to call G Man but he didn't answer because he is currently in an endeavored servitude to Matt Dillacunty.

Next up, Gail Chord Schuler shared an audio excerpt from her book. There's literally no fucking way to do this justice in text, but it includes saucey brain-to-brain sex, Star Trek actors, and the continued plotting of the Jesuit Order. All of Gail's wives had their penises removed by Chinese doctors for being too squeaky and was subsequently sold on the black market.

Quotes

  • "Cruz looks like a fucking rat" - Scotty
  • "It's a mistake to rub baby oil all over Donald Trump's ass, and then take out your leather paddle with a slut imprint and spank his naughty ass over and over again. That's wrong, other Republicans shouldn't be trying to do that" - TJ
  • "Let's dis on Dillahunty." - TJ giving Matt Dillacunty a hard time.

Trivia

  • TJ is too lazy to edit a top ten list. Even our dumbasses special snowflakes on the wiki can do that. You're garbage, TJ!
  • Butt King ISN'T a Christian. He's actually a "Gord-believer."
  • Matt Dillahunty's wife wants to fuck Dusty.
  • Some men's sole goal in life is to get some personal brain-to-brain sex with Gail.
  • Chinese Doctors sell penises on the black market.
  • Gail Chord Schuler's stories make more sense than Scientology.

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