Prev: Episode 140
Next: Episode 142
- TJ's rant on the wiki.
- Potential pan legalization in Ohio.
- Repzion vs. Vegan Gains.
- Vegan Gains threatening to slit Repzion's throat.
- Wild Bill: Liberals and Children and Guns!
- In honour of national Orgasm day, here's some tips on how to make your girl orgasm.
- Is drunk sex rape?
- News Segment: Two marijuana issues to be on ballot
- Say No To ResponsibleOhio
- News Segment: Morgan Freeman's granddaughter stabbed to death
- Vegan Gains: Vegan Gains says he will kill MrRepzion
- Brett Keane: Dear Kent Hovind (Message from Brett Keane)
- Brett Keane: Debate Predictions Kent Hovind Will Destroy TheAmazingAtheist
- Bryan Fischer: Gays Are Trying To Reimpose Slavery On The South
- Gazi Kodzo: I'm NOT Gay!
- Fox News: Fox & Friends debate Alpha Phi
- Amazing Atheist: TJ explains ancient history at the British museum
- Amazing Atheist: Ancient Poop Pots at the British Museum
Start of the Show
The episode began with a public announcement with TJ Kirk telling us (the DP Wiki Staff) to get our shit together. Scotty defends the staff and revealed himself to be stoned by attempting such a foolish venture. The Drunken Peasants covered a video of Wild Bill complaining about public schools in America. He finds it sad that young boys aren't learning how to use guns. After a while, Sargon of Akkad eventually appeared on the show and engaged in a brief circle jerk with the peasants over the anti-SJW movement. They read some bullshit feminist article with Level 9,999,999 run-on sentences. The article's writer was revealed to be Canterbury McTrembletits. The article discussed Lenny Bruce, presumably as a reference to someone who could actually write material with a modicum of wit.
Then, they discussed the likelihood of Donald Trump becoming the GOP candidate and his amazing reforms on keeping the beaners out. Next, they read a CNN article about Ann Coulter expressing her adoration for Donald Trump after she fondled his mullet and praised his plan to blockade them beaners. Afterwards, some grease-headed monkey wearing a knock off polo rambles about whether or not drunken sex is rape. TJ also spoke about Steven Crowder.
Middle of the Show
The peasants started talking about the Atheist Roo. TJ admitted that he once subjugated a young black theater worker by making him bring skittles to him during "Django Unchained" and that he did in fact feel "White Guilt".
The peasants watched a news report pertaining to the possible legalization to recreational pan in Ohio. The report displayed an old hag making the case that the kids would become stoners, because it's otherwise impossible to obtain weed. Subsequently, they reviewed a video from the opposition explaining how they're so rational. A man who seemed to be a leper eloquently explained that legalizing something that was on the black market makes the black market more powerful. Such a statement is purely
stupid and ludicrous axiomatic and irrefutable.
Soon after, they looked at a strange news story about how some deranged psycho dude stabbed Morgan Freeman's step granddaughter to death in the middle of the street at 3 AM while preforming an exorcism. If this isn't incidentally the strangest sentence in this whole article, we don't know what is. Apparently he was just trying to get the mean demons out, so this excuses everything (including the probable confusion of anyone and everyone reading sentences for the first time).
Then, Vegan Gains talks about how he'd like to kill MrRepzion and even pulled out the knife he'd like to kill him with while touting that he is not a sociopath. What a class fucking act. Vegan Gains continues to admirably and elegantly prove how totally not crazy he really is. They then discussed the Beast's conviction over his alleged distribution of child pornography. Scotty learned about his recent charges for the first time on the show. Ben refused to comment until the Beast was successfully charged.
They then responded to two shitty Brett Keane videos where Brett pronounced Hovind's name, Hoe-vind. The first video was of him pleading Kent to not come onto the DP show. The second video was of Brett predicting that Kent Hovind will destroy TJ in a debate. Next, that crazy bastard, Bryan Fischer bullshits about how LGBT people are trying to impose slavery on the south. He also acts as if gay marriage was mandatory for everyone.
End of the Show
To kick off the show's finale, the peasants watched a video from the most effeminate black man on the planet explaining how the word "gay" is a piece of white European supremacist jargon. Tiring of Gazi's bullshit, they covered a Fox News report about an extraordinarily "offensive" online video that's intended to promote some kind of sorority. Professor Emeritus of Anthropology TJ Kirk then took center stage in the lecture hall and gave us all a brilliant explanation of artifacts in the British Museum. His first lecture was about some shit related to mercury and the second one was for poop pots.
After TJ's lecture, they brought the T-Shirt Guy guy on to interrogate Sargon's indolent ass about his video game he's developing. TJ gave his valuable dose of input, explaining his dream game called Dildo Entrepreneur, but Sargon rejected this, pointing out that the dildo industry was in fact a saturated market. TJ then proposed the alternative that they start the Chinese Dildo Market for the game instead.
Before ending the show, they explained how YouTube is completely and utterly beneath them and that Scotty, in fact, is not funny.
- "When we're not doing the show we're just trying to murder each other." - Ben describing the horrific anarchy that ensues after the show.
- "In that moment I was the best, the best there ever was." - TJ Kirk, basking in his narcissistic glory.
- "Alright son, we're gonna go into the woods and I'm gonna teach you how to shoot." - TJ Kirk being a suggestive pedophile.
- "She's not a whale, she's JAWS! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN." - Scotty describing sex with Monica.
- "I mean, I skinned your cat baby, but I was drunk." - TJ revealing yet another epoch of his dark, booze-laden past.
- "It's not that he's a bad-looking guy, it's just personality problems." - Sargon discussing his post-intercourse regrets about Roosh V.
- "I wouldn't stand a chance in the ring against that bitch, she's real old and vigorous now." - TJ quivering in fear of Queen Elizabeth II.
- "I ain't votin' for no sand-nigger" - TJ giving his honest opinion on Bobby Jindal
- ''Kent Hoe-vined'''- Brett Spleen pronouncing Kent Hovind's name wrong.
- "The king of the fucking windbags is like: You're long winded" - Scotty regarding Brett Keane calling the DP long-winded
- "I see like a street vendor, like an old Chinese lady selling dildos, when you say Chinese Dildo Market." - TJ
- "I'm sorry to all Chinese people." - TJ
- "My 3 Chinese fans are angry with you TJ." - Scotty
- "Humans are disgusting" - TJ
- It was revealed this episode that TJ has a bad case of the aids.
- Any Mongolians living in China are illegal aliens. Like those damn Mexicans.
- Sargon admitted that if drunk he would fuck the shit out of Roosh V.
- Sargon is on top in his gay marriage to Steven Crowder.
- Vegan Gains proved even more that Canadians are fucking scum by filming his dying grandfather.
- Sargon believes in Vegan Gains and knows that he can succeed in the first great Canadian mass shooting.
NecromancerChinese Dildo Market is the name of Sargon of Akkad's new game, which can be found here.
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