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Earth-0

Earth (known in Latin as Terra, or commonly referred to as the world) is the third planet from its parent star, Sol (the Sun) in the Solar System. It is a terrestrial (rocky) planet, both the densest planet in the Solar System and the largest of the system's four terrestrial planets. It is notably home to a race of sparsely-haired monkeys who fuck everything up.

History

Formation

Earth was formed by God 6000 years ago accretion when excess matter from its parent star’s genesis began clumping together into planets and moons. Its basalt crust cooled down soon after its formation and its collision with the proto-planet Theia. The collision between Earth and Theia launched debris into orbit which later gathered and formed our Moon: Luna. Earth’s gasses appeared by out-gassing, where volcanoes produce volatile gasses such as oxygen and nitrogen.

This planet’s extensive bodies of water were produced from comets and other water-rich bodies bombarding its surface. 

Origin of Life

Life first appeared by abiogenesis when the chemicals necessary for life began to fuse together and under the right conditions; it turned into the first self-replicating molecule.

The earliest life on Earth arose at least 3.5 billion years ago. Earth's biodiversity has expanded continually except when interrupted by mass extinctions. Although scholars and scientists estimate that over 99% of all species of life (over 5 billion) that ever lived on Earth are extinct, there are still an estimated 10–14 million extant species, of which about 1.2 million have been documented and over 86% have not yet been described. Over 7.3 billion humans of these monkey-shitting creatures live on Earth and depend on its biosphere and minerals for their survival. Earth's human population is divided among about two hundred sovereign states which interact through diplomacy, conflict, travel, trade and communication media.

The Rise of Homo Sapiens

Earth was doing quite well for most of its history. Things started to go downhill when the aforementioned sparsely-haired monkey creatures who called themselves humans became the dominant species. Since they started building mega colonies and hives (cities), exhausting the planet's natural resources, damaging the composition of Earth's atmosphere, and burning of coal and oil, the flora and fauna of the planet have mysteriously begun to die. The most advanced of these monkey scientists recently realized that they themselves were the problem, and proceeded to complain lightly while the rest of the species made no changes whatsoever.

This planet is expected to become uninhabitable in the year known by the monkey creatures as "2080 CE."

Relations with Extraterrestrials

Only one Earth species, the mammal known as "human," is aware of the existence of extraterrestrial life. This species has made several attempts to hail space-fairing.

Quantitative Facts

  • Radius (volumetric mean) = 6371.0 km
    • Equatorial = 6378.1 km
    • Polar = 6356.8 km
    • Crust depth = 25 km (varies)
    • Mantle thickness = 2860 km
    • Core = 3480 km
  • Mass = 5.97219E24 kg
    • Atmosphere = 5.1E18 kg
    • Hydrosphere = 1.4E21 kg
    • Crust = 3.4E22 kg
    • Mantle = 4.0E24 kg
    • Core = 1.9E24 kg

Trivia

  • Despite the fact that "Earth" means dirt, most of Earth's surface is covered by water. Curiously, while water is absolutely vital to continued life as humans know it, most of the Earth's water, if consumed in sufficient quantities, would kill humans.
  • The Earth's environment is seemingly quite fragile. However, since it is our God-given right to trash it, dammit we're gonna do it.

 Disclaimer

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