Chris Christie, or Chrisp Crispy Cream is an American Republican Governor from New Jersey, who hates his state and doesn't even want to live there. He had to be shamed into going back after a snow storm. He is a generic-ass bitch who wouldn't be anything special if he didn't stop a bridge for political purposes and wasn't fat as fuck. Chris Crispy is one of the thirteen-trillion candidates for the Republican Nomination of the upcoming presidential election. He dropped out because he is a failure and endorsed the fascist Liberal Donald Trump.

Crispy also received a blowjob from Paul's Ego, however, Paul was insufficient in his duties and was demoted to nipple tweaker (his true niche).

Scotty plans on voting for Crispy because he will get off to all the gratuitous violence that will come from another war prompted by Crispy.

His hobbies include running (not sure if that's the appropriate term for him) for president, abusing his political power to close bridges to troll people he doesn't like, renting out every Dunkin Donuts in New Jersey for the night.


  • He's fat.
  • He's shit.
  • He was the 55th Governor of New Jersey.
  • He earned a law degree from Seton Hall University School of Law in 1987 before being raped in the ass by stray dogs.
  • He's fat.
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