Charles Darwin (12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) is an English con-man, eugenicist, and sodomite who founded the lie of evolution. He made it up to turn people, who usually happen to be more educated - weird - away from Jesus, as commanded by Lord Satan. It is also believed he did so to justify his uncanny resemblance to a chimpanzee.

Darwin was also a convicted sex offender who was found guilty of sodomizing several adolescent boys and barnyard animals throughout his life using finches with variously different beak sizes.

At the end of his life, Darwin realized he was wrong about all his views on evolution and converted to Christianity on his deathbed even though he was critical of Christianity and the Bible.


  • He is the brother of the communist philosopher Karl Marx.
  • He founded the lie of Evil-lution
  • He had one badass beard
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